meconium > Books

Butts
Butts
Screen-printed book
14 x 8 inches
2017

This is a book of sculptures. When the book is held open at a right angle, each spread describes a sculpture that exists in the space between the open pages. The text uses itself as a coordinate system to precisely locate the sculpture so that it's fixed relative to the location of the book. Each pair of texts is a cage for each sculpture. The above reads as follows:

with the Qantassaurus that inhabits these pages. She is alive 115 million years ago in Australia when it is part of the supercontinent Gondwana. She is 4 inches tall, 11 inches long and is 10 months old. She has a short face, a beak, and giant eyes adapted to the long dark winters. Her lower left jaw hosts nine teeth. The jaw is situated just below the line, parallel to this page, that extends from the “n” in the word “shins” in the second line of the second paragraph of the adjacent text. The teeth are located at the intersections of that line and the series of lines perpendicular to this page that emanate from the letters in the word “antarctic” in the first line of the second paragraph of this text. This jaw bone, NMV P199075, is discovered in 1996 by Nicole Evered and is one of only 3 fossils tentatively ascribed to Qantasaurus Intrepidus all of which are dentary fragments.

The Qantassaurus in this book is warm blooded and doesn’t hibernate during the antarctic winters. As she exhales, her warm breath radiates from her nostrils in conical gusts that heat an area of the adjacent page shaped like a Venn diagram or the cinematic caricature of binocular vision. The heated text reads: “is room is bipedal an ng shins. She runs very rrently situated betwee ‘f’ in the ord ‘fro.” The area is just below the text that the animal studies most.

Contrary to prevailing speculations among paleontologists, this Qantassaurus has a feathered torso as do many other ornithischian dinosaurs. The feathers are black and mask her pallid, nearly transparent skin. Several times a day the Qantassaurus feels a nervous tension in her sacrum. She experiences it as an emotional discomfort and remedies it with long sessions of forced laughter. She is currently comfortable and relaxed. Her tail is firm and extends beyond

the far margin of the adjacent text. The Qantassaurus is named after the Queensland and Northern Territory Air Service (QANTAS) which justifies it’s ulessness. QANTAS is the third oldest airline in the world and is nicknamed “The Flying Kangaroo.” QANTAS has a policy of not seating adult male passengers next to unaccompanied children because 98 percent of convicted pedophiles are men. In 2005, upon learning of the policies, double amputee golfer Kevin Gill spends 22 hours a top of a 10 meter tall gum tree stump just outside Nelson Australia in protest.

The Qantasaurus between these pages is bipedal and has clawed feet for traction. She has short thighs and long shins. She runs very fast. Her hips are 5 centimeters wide and are currently situated between the lines perpendicular to this page that extend from the “f” in the word “from” in this line and the “e” in the word “line” in the previous line.

This Qantassaurus’ dietary habits are mostly vegetarian though she’s an occasional insectivore. Twice a day the guards feed her 5 pounds of organic dwarf blue curled gates kale grown indoors at a nearby facility. Once a week she eats a half pound of local beetles. Her stool is very healthy and filled with beneficial bacteria. From January 2018 to July 2019 I successfully treat my Crohn’s disease with an 18 month course of her dung. The guards are often alone